Petua Melayu Lama

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

National friendship week

Once there was a man. His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish
farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard
a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to
the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming
And struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what
could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse
surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman Stepped out and introduced
himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."
"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied
waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the
out of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes,"
the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him
the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything
like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud

And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and
in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London,
and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir
Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin. Years afterward, the
same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.
His son's name?
Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
It's National Friendship Week. Send this to
everyone you consider A FRIEND.
Pass this on, and brighten someone's day.

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH: You had better send this back!! Good Luck!
I hope it works...

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer

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khas buat para isteri dan yang bakal bergelar isteri..

From: Suzana Binti Nawardin
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2005 3:13 PM
Subject: khas buat para isteri dan yang bakal bergelar isteri..

Assalamualaikum, khas buat para isteri dan yang bakal bergelar
isteri..semoga doa ini dapat mengubat hati anda semua dalam melayari alam
rumahtangga yg ada 1001 mcm rintangan. Hanya pada Allah tempat kita


Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim
Kau ampunilah dosa ku yg telah ku perbuat
Kau limpahkanlah aku dengan kesabaran yg tiada terbatas
Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan mental dan fisikal
Kau kurniakanlah aku dengan sifat keredhaan
Kau peliharalah lidahku dari kata-kata nista
Kau kuatkanlah semangatku menempuhi segala cabaranMu
Kau berikanlah aku sifat kasih sesama insan

Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah pilihan Mu diArash
Berilah aku kekuatan dan keyakinan untuk terus bersamanya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah suami yg akan membimbing tanganku
Kurniakanlah aku sifat kasih dan redha atas segala perbuatannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah bidadara untuk ku di Jannah Mu
Limpahkanlah aku dengan sifat tunduk dan tawaduk akan segala
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah yang terbaik untukku di DuniaMu
Peliharalah tingkah laku serta kata-kataku dari menyakiti perasaannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini jodoh yang dirahmati olehMu
Berilah aku kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala kerenah dan ragamnya

Tetapi Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini ditakdirkan bukan untuk diriku seorang
Kau tunjukkanlan aku jalan yg terbaik untuk aku harungi segala dugaanMu
Sekiranya suami ku tergoda dengan keindahan dunia Mu
Limpahkanlah aku kesabaran untuk terus membimbingnya
Sekiranya suami ku tunduk terhadap nafsu yang melalaikan
Kurniakanlah aku kekuatanMu untuk aku memperbetulkan keadaanya
Sekiranya suami ku menyintai kesesatan
Kau pandulah aku untuk menarik dirinya keluar dari terus terlena

Ya Allah
Kau yang Maha Megetahui apa yang terbaik untukku
Kau juga yang Maha Mengampuni segala kesilapan dan ketelanjuranku
Sekiranya aku tersilap berbuat keputusan
Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
Sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku sebagai isteri
Kau hukumlah aku didunia tetapi bukan diakhiratMu
Sekiranya aku engkar dan derhaka
Berikanlah aku petunjuk kearah rahmatMu

Ya Allah sesungguhnya
Aku lemah tanpa petunjukMu
Aku buta tanpa bimbinganMu
Aku cacat tanpa hidayahMu
Aku hina tanpa RahmatMu

Ya Allah
Kuatkan hati dan semangatku
Tabahkan aku menghadapi segala cubaanMu
Jadikanlah aku isteri yang disenangi suami
Bukakanlah hatiku untuk menghayati agamaMu
Bimbinglah aku menjadi isteri Soleha
Hanya padaMu Ya Allah ku pohon segala harapan
Kerana aku pasrah dengan dugaanMu
Kerana aku sedar hinanya aku
Kerana aku insan lemah yg kerap keliru
Kerana aku leka dengan keindahan duniamu
Kerana kurang kesabaran ku menghadapi cabaranMu
Kerana pendek akal ku mengharungi ujianMu

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...
Aku hanya ingin menjadi isteri yang dirahmati
Isteri yang dikasihi
Isteri yang soleha
Isteri yang sentiasa dihati

Amin, amin Ya Rabbal Allamin..

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Brilliant - gotta read

From: Suzana Binti Nawardin
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2005 9:22 AM
Subject: Brilliant - gotta read


Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.

Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night..........whether you're here or not."




Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"




Husband (a doctor) and his wife are hav ing a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed.

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"




A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."




To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this fax, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed I shall be back home before midnight.

When the man came home, he found the following letter on the dining room table............

My Dear Husband,

I received your fax and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael my tennis coach, who like your secretary, is also 18 year! s old. As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference. 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore I will not be back before lunchtime tomorrow.

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.


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Tuesday, March 01, 2005


-----Original Message-----
From: Suzana Binti Nawardin
Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2005 10:09 AM
Subject: [ansarasban79] FW: AS I GROW IN AGE

I know we have another year before we touch 40. But the e-mail below makes me so proud to approach 40...

-----Original Message-----
From: Raja Norakmar
Sent: 1 March 2005 09:59
Subject: Fw: AS I GROW IN AGE

A friend sent this to me and I thought it was worth passing on. It seemed
especially insightful and funny, given that it was written by an older man.
Hope you all enjoy this and continued happiness in 2005!

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all.
Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What
are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around
whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually
something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what
she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a
flip what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 40 are dignified.
They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of
an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate
to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise. They know what it's like to be
A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend
because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't
care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows
her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 40 . They always know.
A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of
younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman
over 40 is far sexier than her younger
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a
jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you
stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you
can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women
are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an
entire pig, just to get a little sausage...
(...the above thoughts are courtesy of Andy Rooney!)

Note from yours truly.... Very insightful and funny, dont you think? Salute
to all women out there who are above 40!!

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Thursday, October 28, 2004

Petua Melayu Lama.

Dalam masyarakat tradisi Melayu, terdapat banyak petua-petua untuk perawan (anak dara) yang elok diamalkan agar sentiasa dipandang menarik, menawan dan cepat dipinang orang. Ini juga merupakan petua-petua yang boleh diamalkan terus oleh wanita yang telah berkahwin dan telah mempunyai anak. Petua-petua berikut adalah koleksi dari berbagai pengalaman dan tulisan.

1. Bangkit Bersambut
Apabila mahu tidur malam, duduk berlunjur dan rebahkan badan ke tilam tanpa menongkatkan badan dengan tangan. Apabila mahu bangkit dan tidur, lunjurkan kaki dan bangunlah tanpa menongkatkan badan dengan tangan. Cecah ibu jari kaki dengan kedua tangan.

2. Wajah Suci
Apabila bangun pagi, jika membasuh muka, elakkan dari mencucinya menggunakan sebarang alat pencuci atau mengesat muka dengan sebarang pengesat. Biarkan air itu kering sendiri pada muka. Jika mengambil air sembahyang pun, usahlah dikesat air itu, biarkan ia kering sendiri. Ini berfaedah mengekalkan kecantikan asli wanita, dan rnenjadikan muka bercahaya dan segar kerana pelembap asli muka tidak dibuang.

3. Menyegarkan Payudara
Apabila mandi, terutamanya di awal pagi, cucurkan air pancuran atau air paipke atas kedua-dua belah payudara agar payudara sentiasa subur dan segar, tidak mudah jatuh

4. Taman Semerbak
Mewangi Amalkan memakan makanan yang segar seperti ulam-ulam yang wangi baunya dan sayur-sayuran yang wangi sejak dari perawan. Amalkan sentiasa. Nafas dan badan juga akan menjadi wangi. Petua ini telah diketahui sejak beribu tahun yang lampau.

5. Lubang Jarum
Latih otot penahan kencing, seolah-olah seperti menahan dan hendak buang air kecil, kemutkan berulang-ulang. Kemudian kemutkan pula otot dubur seolah-olah mahu menahan dari buang air besar, berulang-ulang juga. Jika boleh jadikan ia amalan setiap hari.

6. Suara Perindu
Elakkan dari banyak memakan makanan yang pedas-pedas atau yang agak panas. Selalu minum air asam jawa. Berlatih bercakap dengan mengawal nada suara, jangan dilepaskan suara sewenang-wenangnya. Dikatakan bahawa suara perawan adalah bagai bunyi seruling yang merdu.

7. Mengurut Pangkal Bunting Padi
Biasakan mengurut di pangkal betis, iaitu dengan cara menekan dan memicit kawasan antara urat keting dan buah betis. Lakukan selalu, kerana ini baik untuk mempertingkatkan prestasi kepekaan rasa apabila jima'setelah berkahwin nanti.

8. Payudara Montok
Elakkan dari rneniarap di atas lantai sama ada di waktu siang atau malam, kerana meniarap dilantai akan mengendurkan payudara anda.

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